What is the allure of the “Bad Boy”? When you think of a bad boy, who do you picture in your mind? Throughout the history of film and literature, the magnetic pull of the rogue, rapscallion, and renegade is used over and over. Explosive chemistry crackling between the heroine and the man who most of our mothers would tell us to stay the hell away from. Women love them, men want to be them. They draw us in with their strength, mystery, and sex appeal.
Some of my personal favorite bad boys are Madmartigan from Willow. Raphael from TMNT. Christian Hawkins from Tara Janzen’s novel, Crazy Cool. And of course Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre. I could go on and on….and on. But I digress.
Why are we attracted to bad boys? I can’t answer for everyone, but I will share my thoughts.
They march to their own drum beat. A man who knows what he wants and goes for it is amazingly sexy. They do what they want, when they want, how they want to do it. While many times this can lead to impulsive actions and poor decisions, it is also a trait bad boys share with heroes.
Heroes aren’t created. They dwell deep inside, ready to emerge at a moment’s notice. While bad boys carry the reputation for being cold hearted and callused, they often have a soft heart. The only way to find it is to soothe the rough façade. That often takes more work than anyone wants to put into a friendship/relationship.
Women love the challenge and prestige of taming something wild. Being with a bad boy intensifies the feeling of relinquishing control, being free, and the thrill of the chase. They strive to push the boundaries, test their surroundings, and live to the fullest. While it is extremely difficult to bond with a bad boy, once you do, you have made a friend for life. Perhaps that is why we are drawn to these rogues. They show the base instincts we hold deep inside ourselves. We want to run with them, comfort them, to some extent become them. So we live vicariously through them, lust for them, desire to devour every part of their essence as an escape, a release. The world is split into the pure and evil, they blend together, the good and the bad, creating a kaleidoscope of emotions and people. They are the wounds we carry, personified. We are all wounded to some extent and bad boys are our connection to a deep part we keep sheltered inside.
I love a man who stands firm, carries his scars like a badge of honor, and proudly makes his way through life on his own terms. This is what a bad boy represents to me. What about you?