Home » Humor » How to Operate Your Writer: Model S/O (Significant Other)

How to Operate Your Writer: Model S/O (Significant Other)

How to Operate Your WriterCongratulations on acquiring the exceptional Your Writer, Model S/O (significant other), with the latest, upgraded Writing Mode. Please read these instructions in their entirety before engaging Writing Mode on Your Writer. Failure to understand and obey these instructions will result in malfunction and/or increased maintenance.

Function: Writing Mode

Your Writer, Model S/O, comes with the latest Writing Mode system. This system must be continually updated through reading and on-going learning. Your Writer should complete these upgrades and updates automatically. If not, you should consider sending Your Writer to a writers conference for adjustment.

While engaged in Writing Mode, Your Writer may become hostile to interference, interruption, and attempts at conversation. Remember, Writing Mode uses ALL system resources. Should said events continue, Your Writer may exhibit extreme ire or shut down completely. To correct, back out of the room swiftly, taking all living creatures with you, and close the door. Your Writer should automatically begin to correct and compensate. Successful function is acknowledged when Your Writer emerges from the room voluntarily. At that time, Writing Mode will have undergone a proper temporary suspension.

Conversely, Writing Mode may cause Your Writer to become oblivious to all external input save the crying of small children. This is to be expected and is part of normal operating parameters.

You can enhance the effectiveness of Writing Mode (and also reduce maintenance) by tiptoeing in just long enough to leave a healthy snack or fresh cup of coffee. Tiptoe out again promptly and do not expect acknowledgement until Writing Mode is naturally suspended.

WARNING: Attempting to abort Writing Mode or override the switch may cause serious damage to the written work, Your Writer, and/or your backside. DO NOT ATTEMPT.

PRECAUTION: If Your Writer, Model S/O, is not self-cycling out of Writing Mode and you notice undue wear and tear on the unit, FIRST make sure Your Writer is not on the deadline setting before coaxing Your Writer into voluntary suspension of Writing Mode.

PLEASE NOTE: Writing Mode can only be temporarily suspended from activity. It cannot be purged, and attempts to delete will destroy the unit. Writing Mode is always running in the background. Attempts to alter this feature will void your warranty.

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13 thoughts on “How to Operate Your Writer: Model S/O (Significant Other)

  1. My poor husband had to learn all this the hard way, lol. You’re right, Alyce, the ire doesn’t work so well with the little ones. I believe there’s an upgrade somewhere for that. 🙂

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