One dark morning in the early days of August, six little Muses were woken by the frantic chiming of the Muse Phone (shut up, this is my story and I’ll tell it any damn way I please…). Not being a morning person, Amanda dispatched a shadowy minion to “disconnect” the caller but, fortunately, I snatched up the receiver before any real damage was done.
“Hello?” I said with a voice still thick with sleep.
“Sarcastic Muse?” came the voice on the other end. “S. B. James here–“
“I’m sorry, we’ve already got one…” I was starting to rethink Amanda’s minion. Michelle, who never sleeps (vampire?) took the phone from me.
“Hello S. B. James. How can SM help you today?”
Well, long story short, it turns out that S. B. James didn’t need our help, but was calling to, ever so kindly, nominate us for our first Sarcastic Muse blog award. That’s right, we now have our very own (highly polished) Very Inspiring Blogger Award.
Ta da! (No, I didn’t miss a bit. Well, you polish it then.)
We’re all so proud. Thank you, S. B. James for thinking of us.
Rules
Wait! What? No one said anything about rules…
- Thank and link the amazing person(s) who nominated you.
- List the rules and display the award.
- Share seven facts about yourself.
- Nominate some other amazing blogs and comment on their posts to let them know they have been nominated.
We have to do ALL of them? Can’t we just send a card? Oh, alright…
Seven Facts
As Sarcastic Muse not one writer but a hive mind…collective of writers, we thought it best to offer one fact about each of us as well as nominate those bloggers that inspire our own work. Here goes (apologies in advance)…
Amanda Headlee
Fact
The Jabberwocky was the first monster that gave me nightmares and it has caused me to have a mad obsession with Alice in Wonderland and horror.
Nominees
Jen Bradlee
Fact
I keep a whip on my desk for motivation.
[Author’s note: she never specified WHO she motivates with it].
Nominees
Kirsten Blacketer
Fact
I use my toes to pick up things off the floor.
[Author’s note: ewwwwww!]
Nominees
Robyn LaRue
Fact
I was offered $20 by a relative for my lasagne recipe. I didn’t sell.
Nominees
Michelle Mueller
Fact
I’ve spent the majority of my life working with horses.
[Author’s note: I was sad to later learn that this was not as part of a circus act.]
Nominees
Chris Musgrave
Fact
I’ve been detained against my will. Send help immediately. Send–
[Author’s note: the tape continues for a few more seconds. A scream and sounds of a struggle can be heard before it goes dead.]
Nominees
And finally…
Sarcastic Muse
Fact
Each of the Muses has their own Muse Nickname. It’s how we differentiate from each other in the dark.
Once again, we’d like to thank S. B. James for his kind nomination and all of our readers for sticking with us and making it a pleasure to come to work each morning. Before we go, I’d just like to take the opportunity to remind everyone not to call so early…oh, and don’t touch the stuff on the floor…Kirsten’s feet and all that.
The Sarcastic Muse 
Congratulations to all of our nominees!
And no one look at me. I do not have Chris bound and gagged in my lair…
Well, we all know Jen keeps a few men bound and gagged in her closet. She may have put that whip to good use.
They all gave consent. *wink* And I let them out for daily walks in the garden, leashed of course.
I’m more interested in how your shadowy minion would have “disconnected” the call . . .
With an air of grace and skill.
Thank you very much for the mention. I seldom think of myself as more than moderately inspiring, so this is a solid step up. Nor have I ever had a nightmare about the Jabberwocky, though I once met Bryan Talbot, creator of Alice in Sunderland, and he was absolutely lovely. (My earliest remembered dream was a nightmare involving Rocky and Bullwinkle – I have no idea why that seemed nightmarish to my young mind, possibly something about talking animals)
I don’t generally do blog awards as blog awards, my inner Englishman coils away from such grandly titled schemes, but I’ll do a similar passing-it-along blog post later in the week, and of course link back to your splendid blog.
You are most welcome, Andrew. Your blog is always refreshing to read and thoroughly look forward to your posts. Here is the Jabberwocky that would cause a young girl of 6 hellish nightmares: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7dxhbHAGRE (however, I do find Bullwinkle slightly terrifying – a talking moose?!? disturbing).
I can see why that would scare a six-year-old! The fact that it’s clearly scaring another little girl on screen can’t have helped.
Reminds me of being five and hiding behind the sofa from daleks.
Oh, those poor daleks. Everyone seems to fear them.
A heartfelt and sincere thank you to Michelle for the very kind nomination. With a tagline on my blog that reads “inspire and be inspired”, I suppose that this is probably the highest recognition I could possibly receive, especially when it comes from such a wonderfully inspiring group of writers 🙂
Thank you for continuing to cajole our collective muses with your witty stories and inspiring posts. I followed Michelle’s personal blog, but was not aware of the Sarcastic Muse, a delightful side effect of your kindness. I look forward to learning more about each of you in future posts. Thanks again and best wishes for an inspired day!
No problem Dave! You always leave such wonderful comments on my own blog, and I’ve enjoyed reading your inspirational and well-written posts. I figured it was the least I could do! 🙂
Weird, kooky and wonderful insights about everyone. Thanks for sharing (I think). 🙂
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