I’ve put on my editing hat before to break down the difference between passive and active voice, discuss grammatical aspect (the progressive and perfect forms of verbs), and even to give an overview of good and bad repetition. Today I’d like to discuss a topic I don’t read about too often: how to use italicized text effectively in your writing.
This is what an overkill of italics looks like to an editor.
I see the overuse of italics most often in novels that are supposed to be from the third-person limited POV. I have seen cases where writers rely on first-person internal monologues because they have not yet mastered the voice of their character or maybe because they do not fully understand how to write from a tight third-person POV. As a rule, in stories written from the third-person limited POV, unspoken discourse does not require (and in fact should not have) large amounts of exposition in the form of italicized first-person thoughts.
Why is this? Well, it’s both a.) distracting (italics is physically more difficult to read, and readers may be inclined to skip it) and b.) a sign that you’re telling the reader instead of showing.
So when are italics used successfully?
For emphasis:
To remind the reader of previously said information (and its importance) or to emphasize a memory:
[Shadow’s] fingers closed around the Liberty dollar in his pocket, and he remembered Zorya Polunochnaya, and the way she had looked at him in the moonlight. Did you ask her what she wanted? It is the wisest thing to ask the dead. Sometimes they will tell you.
“Laura . . . What do you want?” [Shadow] asked. – Neil Gaiman, American Gods, pg 220
The memory of what Zorya told him prompts Shadow to ask Laura the question (essential for story progression). The rhythm doesn’t miss a beat.
To show the reader something said or shown to the character in the past that doesn’t necessarily qualify for quotation marks:
You always knew when you were playing one of those because a little Coelacanth symbol would come up on the screen. Coelacanth. Prehistoric deep-sea fish, long supposed extinct until specimens found in mid-twentieth. Present status unknown.” – Margaret Atwood, Oryx and Crake, pg 81
The italicized text shows information a character has once seen and is now recalling. He’s more or less quoting it to himself, but the text itself doesn’t warrant quotations.
To stress a word in a particular sentence. This is much like punctuation in that it controls the way a reader reads a specific word.
“But I can assure you,” said Stone, with another smiley smile, “we are the good guys. . .” – American Gods, pg 212
To differentiate situations of alternating time, speakers, or speech:
To differentiate telepathy (mind speech) from normal spoken dialogue. It’s recommended still to use quotation marks, even for mind speech.
To differentiate from a position within the narrative to one outside of it:
[From the character Shadow] “Frontier times?”
“You might call it that,” said Mr. Ibis. “Evening Miz Simmons! And a Merry Christmas to you too! The folk who brought me here came up the Mississippi a long time back.” – American Gods, page 281
We can see that Mr. Ibis has temporarily turned away from the conversation to greet Miss Simmons (who is outside the conversation itself and clearly interrupts it). But Gaiman doesn’t waste time telling us that because it would offer nothing of value to the story or the conversation itself. What if Gaiman had instead written something like this:
“You might call it that,” said Mr. Ibis, greeting Miss Simmons, who had just wished him a Merry Christmas, before turning back to Shadow. “The folk who . . .”
Another example is when the character hears the voice of someone else in his head (as in a hallucination). The character’s own thoughts remain in a regular font; the voice intruding from the “outside” would thus be in italics.
To differentiate thoughts from regular prose. When done correctly, a character’s thoughts will show something to the reader: his state of mind, some aspect of his personality, a deepening of his POV. But writers should be wary of having the character tell the reader his thoughts rather than showing them. Despite what one may think, there’s a huge difference. See below.
The Good:
But the thought of being there without her, surrounded by her things, her scent, her life, was simply too painful . . .
Don’t go there, thought Shadow. He decided to think about something else. He thought about coin tricks. Shadow knew that he did not have the personality to be a magician: he could not weave the stories that were so necessary for belief, nor did he wish to do card tricks, nor produce paper flowers. But he just wanted to manipulate coins; he liked the craft of it. – American Gods, pages 85-86
Notice Gaiman just gives us a taste; he relies on the strength of his own narrative voice to continue the scene. A dash of italics spices things up (like rhythm) but isn’t overkill.
The Bad (Destruction of this paragraph is entirely my fault):
I don’t want to think about being there without her. It’s too painful. I’ll think about something else. He thought about coin tricks, even knowing that he did not have the personality to be a magician. I can’t weave the stories that are so necessary for belief. I don’t want to do card tricks or produce flowers either. I just want to manipulate coins. He liked the craft of it.
Compare the tight prose of Gaiman and then the mess I made of it by relying on an internal monologue.
For basic copy edit and other stylistic reasons:
- Titles of novels, television shows, movies, and other things of that nature
- Quotations heading chapters, whether they come from existing or invented fiction
- Song lyrics, lines of poetry, and letters within the story
- Foreign words and scientific names
The Sarcastic Muse 
I talked to Mr. Gaimon and he’s cool with what you did with his prose. Italics, when they’re done right — I love them because they do their job and show/remind me of something important. If they they’re done wrong, they pull me out of the story and I don’t like that.
Absolutely Marcy! Italics, as with many other literary devices, are like spices. Too much and it leaves a bad taste. But with just the right amount (and the correct usage), a writer can add a bit of flavor. Thanks for stopping by!
When done wrong…ouch. Glad you did this. There isn’t much out there on the subject and it’s needed.
At best, when done in the extreme (as in my example), it reads like terrible 1st person POV with a hint of the 3rd person POV. But either way, when comparing the two examples, the one littered with italics tells nothing new to the reader that isn’t innately expressed via Gaiman’s actual prose.
I find italics horrible distracting when grossly used. Fantastic post and hope that many writers take heed. You should write a book about all your grammar vices 😉 I’d love to have a copy!
Thanks! Commas and other punctuation is more subjective in fiction, but literary devices, when used incorrectly (or grossly), are less forgiving.
When done well, they can really hit home. There’s an entire page of italics in Oryx and Crake where Jimmy breaks down the history of toast, but it’s rhythmic and serves a purpose. The last two lines are the emotive element that snap it all together — the history of toast with his own hopeless situation and his feelings about it. Unfortunately, however, most writers aren’t Atwood, and we’ve got to know the rules (and understand how to do them properly) before we can break them.
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In a fiction novel I am writing, I use italics when first introducing the name of a place (the name of a store, a city, a kingdom, a continent, etc.). However, from the second mention of that place and on I do not italicize the name. Is this an acceptable use of italics?
I apologize for my reply, which I see is exactly one year after you have asked your question!
To answer your question: Basically italics are not needed for the names of places, even for the first time that you mention them in your novel. Place names are simply proper nouns, so following the normal capitalization rules for proper nouns will suffice.
For a more in-depth look at rules for italicizing specific items, you can check out this blog post by Beth Hill: http://theeditorsblog.net/2014/05/12/marking-text-choosing-between-italics-and-quotation-marks/
In my fiction, I’ve used italics to regularly denote the name of a spacecraft throughout the story; I’ve also used it in communications to denote the speaker at the other end of a conversation (the incoming transmission). I’ve recently heard, however, that dyslexics have trouble reading italics, so I’m wondering if I should be using them in text at all.
I apologize for my late reply. I have been a ghost in the blogging world for quite some time now. You brought up a good point though, so I dusted off my copy of The Chicago Manual of Style. Perhaps the following will be of interest.
Per Section 8.115: Names of Ships and Other Vehicles:
“Names of ships and other vessels are both capitalized and italicized.”
Samples given there (in case others are also curious):
1. Phoenix Mars lander
2. the space shuttle Discovery
3. the Spirit of St. Louis
4. HMS Frolic
So this rule should also apply to names of spacecraft & spaceships in novels.
I’ll note that the CMS specifies that other vehicle names are not capitalized. Under Section 8.116:
“Names of makes and classes of aircraft, models of automobiles and other vehicles, names of trains or train runs, and names of space programs are capitalized but not italicized.”
I can imagine italics in huge blocks would be a nightmare for dyslexics, but I would still suggest keeping them for specific cases (or to follow the CMS style guide).
Could you ever use italics show sarcasm? The type of sarcasm that I am trying to show is not in dialogue or even in a personal thought. It is in the basic narration (as in describing the setting of something). The sarcasm is very subtle, but vital for the paragraph to send the correct meaning to the reader.
to show*
Hi Alex! Sorry for my belated reply.
To answer your question: I don’t want to say that you can never use italics to show sarcasm, because I know that there are always edge cases; also I don’t have the passage in front of me for reference. In this case, it would depend on how you are trying to show it.
For many stylistic decisions, I have learned that a writer’s intuition is generally correct the first time. I will only caution you that using italics to draw attention to the sarcasm might have the opposite effect, meaning you end up not trusting your readers to infer your narrative intentions, and, instead of the subtle showing you were aiming for, end up not-so-subtly telling them via italics that THIS IS SARCASM. Perhaps in the case of sarcasm, the old saying “less is more” would be warranted?
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Thanks! This is very informative. As a reader and author, I wonder why so many extracts in a novel are written in italics? For example, letters written within a novel? Is this appropriate and correct? The reason I ask is my next novel has a few extracts such as letters, and I wonder if I need to put them in italics?
Thanks, Katherine Spada Basto, author, “Days to the Gallows.”
Hi Katherine! I realize I am a bit late in replying, so you’ve probably already found your answers by now, but as I’ve now seen your message, I still wanted to respond. 🙂
I have often wondered the same thing. In the case of letters written within a novel, I presume authors use italics for letters to differentiate them from the rest of the text, but there are always other ways to do this. It’s also possible that authors may italicize letters because italics somewhat mimic handwriting. For instance, e-mails are often portrayed differently in novels, too, but usually with some other font (to make it look more like an e-mail). Either case is a topographical stylistic choice meant to convey some kind of information. The problem is, again, that italics are harder to read.
Letters anyway need to be distinguished from the regular story somehow, so depending on the amount and length of them, then italics may very well be the solution. Or, if not italics, some other font or block indenting. If the letters are longer, maybe they could also have their own chapter or section using the normal font.
For reference, here is a more recent article by an editor on italics; she also has a section on diary entries/letters: https://christianediting.co.nz/italics/